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Akira Shima
25 December 2014 @ 12:17 pm
Merry Christmas and Happy final day of Pancha Ganapati.

may you be surrounded with loved ones and get the right colour phone or device. if not please video tape that tantrum for you tube
 
 
 
Akira Shima
24 July 2014 @ 03:20 am
Aku is dead.

he did not in fact have Diarrhea. he had a major heart problem. which caused organ failures. his lungs were filled with and surrounded by fluid. there was nothing that could be done to heal him. even with me pumping in the fluids and food he was so dehydrated that they had to use a intra heart injection to stop his heart since they could not find veins and with his heart so fucked up there was barely any circulation.

the only person i had left that would curl up with me when things went bad is gone. the One that would destroy his cage if he was not out and i was having a panic attack is gone. My little buddy and baby is gone.

and i still owe ten bucks to the vet so i really have to get back from site and to my bank on the first so i can pay them. every dime i had left went to the bill. 79 bucks. do you have any idea how surreal and fucked up it is to have to fill out paper work and pay a bill while you watch your beloved die..
 
 
Akira Shima
13 July 2014 @ 04:41 am
My head is filled with bad things. it usually is. but right now they are just crushing me. and i am really not sure what to do since it is so many things. i keep trying to tackle one at a time but then the universe reminds me in very concrete ways that NOTHING exists in a vacuum as i already know to be true. but it always seems to be extra true anymore. to do even the simplest thing right now i have to tackle what seems like endless other things first. no matter what i try to do this or that or all these things will need be done or will be affected in adverse ways. i have this incredible frustration that will not go away and in fact is only getting worse. and the worst part is it feels like i have NO ONE to confide in about all of it for fear of my issues getting to people and them taking it wrong. cause far to many of you do when it comes down to it. far to many people i know cannot differentiate between I am mad at a situation and not the person. and many people try to offer what often becomes useless and frustrating advice because of 1 i have tried that already, 2 it is impossible in my situation, 3 it requires money and i fucking have none. (people usually pay my way into things which i appreciate and often feel guilty about but then i feel guilty about everything. and that is a big weight on me right now too as a matter of fact and part of the problems) or finally 4 that it requires i become someone i am not. something that so many people are always saying you should not change and then tell me how i should change. in ways that are usually not only very different from the real me but indeed diametrically opposed to everything i am.
 
 
Akira Shima
07 July 2014 @ 05:29 pm
Holy shit fuck. even with my mobility scooter i am still so damn sore... also i ripped the skin off my knee trying to go through the handicapped door entrance at the Westin. that was lovely. luckily i clot like creme on a hot summer day while waiting to be poured on someone outdoors for a sexy picnic that will later be ruined not only by food poisoning from the poor choice of using gone off creme on someone's genitals as a kick but also by the runaway funeral comedy of errors that will occur nearby resulting in a coffin on wheels speeding by and ripping off the wig of the drag queen that was going down on the guy who had no idea and later both of them being trampled but not killed by the funeral goers trying to stop the coffin from getting away but which will ultimately be hit by a bus full of Nuns on the way to the hospital who all have dysentery and will of course all explode violently with horrific diarrhea when they hit to coffin which will of course have a knocked out midget in it high on drugs who was the deceased's gay lover who came to get some money from the family of the dead guy who said he would take care of him resulting in other hilarious hijinks which ended with him bashing his head into a coffee table after falling off the couch during a wrestling scene where he tried to escape being captured and silenced before he could spill the beans to the wife of the guy who is still quite dead by the kids of the dead guy and alive wife which also involved being sat on by the hilariously overweight aunt who is actually a skinny undercover detective looking for the drug dealing boyfriend of the daughter of the dead guy and alive wife who happened to bring some drugs to the party in a prescription bottle that everyone keeps finding and using to calm down other people at the funeral but just keeps getting them unbelievably high resulting in a hysterical sobbing wife throwing herself at the coffin before it was lowered which lands on the skateboarding cousin whose skate board can somehow handle the weight of it all and sends it speeding downhill at a drag queen and duped but loveable clueless guy who fell for the drag queen and that the drag queen also loves but has gotten in over her feet with and then exploding diarrhea nuns.

so in other words the bleeding stopped quickly.


also for the first fucking time ever in my life something of mine got more than 2 bids. in fact it fucking went to voice auction. VOICE AUCTION MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it went for 60 fucking bucks. 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

the last bid before that to take it there was like 23. so it had a few bids to get to 60.


that was pretty damn awesome.

sadly nothing in the Adult section of the show got a single big on it even the Model red rocket which i guess was for the best.

there were many other hijinks as well like a very drunk White Wer laughing til he almost died because of wet fart noises made by Kelson and discussion of the Mandarin Orange's pleasure palace where in i would take a bite of a grape and juice the rest of it on my nipple and offer a tiny thimble sized cup of freshly nipple juiced juice to Kage asking him if he wished to have some Grape Juice a al Dionysus and other insanity including finger forks being used to offer small smoked sausages to people and all the people in the tent providing entertainment only wearing strategically draped cloth and lounging in the most seductive manners

overall a great con
 
 
 
Akira Shima
25 June 2014 @ 03:58 am
I am quickly being reminded of why i hate the fuck out of summer. I have 9 days or less to do a SHITFUCKTON of art for Anthrocon Art Show and i have been doing nothing but being sick as fuck from the god damn heat and humidity. I would turn on the AC but that costs a Fortune to have on for any length of time
 
 
Akira Shima
19 June 2014 @ 08:42 pm
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Akira Shima
07 June 2014 @ 02:43 pm
Well i am pretty sure i won today in Yard Sale. around 20 bucks spent
Thee foot tall self standing Zebra plush (which got my photos taken by a local news paper photographer and may end up in the paper) - 1 dollar
two foot tall giraffe plush also standing -1 dollar
Nerf Maverick. an older heavier one. still in great shape - 25 cents
three foot tall tower fan with remote - 3 bucks
Three. count them three still in box O2 small battery operated fans - 1 dollar
long metal wall sconce with three votive holders. - 1 dollar
Show box full of collected shells and really nice sea polished quarts pebbles. - 50 cents
new awesome red and cold celestial themed silk scarf. - 50 cents
set of wood carving chisels in new shape - 1 dollar
drum, tambourine, rhythm sticks, wood clapper, and a few other wood percussion instruments all for 3 bucks
wood shelf like a smaller one from Labyrinth that held her teddy bears. - buck
The exact fucking shelf i was envisioning to make a jewelry holder for myself - buck
MP3 player - 50 cents
and i am forgetting a few things

Also at the farmers market the garlic people had some seriously fun heirloom tomato plants and since i know at least the ONE bin survived winter i can have a couple of tomatoes.
I got Japanese black, a small different black tomato an ugly yellow one (supposed to be wrinkly) Pink cherry and brandywine.

also got myself some delicious cheeses and tea and veggies. Including zucchini.

had a LOT of fun but got way to damn much sun and found out that as bad as the sidewalks and roads are where i know them they are pristine bran new infrastructure compared to the new ones i found today.

also nothing makes people smile quite like having a three foot zebra strapped to the front of your mobility scooter. it was hilarious. people stopping and taking photos of it and smiling and laughing and being all sorts of friendly. it was a hell of a change. i think i need to find a new stuffed animal to just sit in the basket. he is a BIT too big for that daily.

but now to hide from the giant evil ball of fire and death and recover slowly from the UV allergy and toxins now coursing through my system making my skin itch and everything in me feel kinda poisoned. So totally worth it though.
 
 
Akira Shima
DAMN YOU KELSON!!!!!!!!!!!!
the rat poison did not kill me fast enough and i had to sit through that FUCKING HORRID MOVIE! so much fetish... so many truly bad puns. Nostalgia Critic failed to properly warn of the horror. This is the movie that would have made the MST3K crew crash the Satellite of Love into the sun. this would have made Forrester renounce her plans for taking over the earth. Nothing will get that 40 hours of my life back... yeah it said it was only 130 minutes. it lied... the dead lifeless eyes. the spastic parkinsons syndrome like movements. the animation that made things like the original MTV video look like Pixar's finest hour. those cold dead eyes. the fetishes like flies on a bloated road kill. in a fucking children's film... IN A FUCKING KIDS FILM FOR FUCKS SAKE! MY IQ HURTS! Holla If I Kill You now stands as an oscar winning masterpiece. I want death to carry me away but i am afraid that movie was just someone filming hell through a pinhole. and i might go there. it was worse than shitting dick nipples and having to make slippers out of the labia of vagina monsters to walk up hill in the hell of a thousand needles. Forgiveness is not an option. and they spent 65 million on this.... I would sooner have let some politician embezzle that money for underage hookers and blow than to have seen it used to produce this utter mindfuck piece of shit movie. at least something wholesome could have come from the politician... this was the worst thing my mind has ever had to withstand. and for people who know me that was a serious feat. I think if we show it to the elder gods we can repel them with ease.

i hatchu Kelson Candymonster and i shall hate that movie til the end of all time. SO yeah you need to show up so we can go all robot chicken on your ass and make you watch it too...

FOOD FIGHT was the worst of the worst of the wurst.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf85ZaAfixM
 
 
Akira Shima
02 May 2014 @ 06:48 pm
I give up. I GIVE UP. i am still crying and shaking so hard i can barely breath. i am on the verge of vomiting. i give up. i simply give up. ran around town doing last minute whatever and came home and tried to do some stuff in the yard finally getting to take a close look at it. I give up. i cannot have anything nice. i cannot seem to have anything. i give up. everything out there is broken. something either ate the ends of my japanese maple or someone cut on it with scissors. the one i trained to grow low and out. it is a stump. i give up. i give up everything. fuck it. i already cannot afford to go to things like AC and anything Pennsic related anymore really. and because i fucked up and become something somewhat important to the WPAFW i have to go to those other things to beg for prizes for the charity raffle which i keep getting told is the reason people go to the WPAFW. and if i quit anything i fuck everyone. but i do not even have money for those things anymore and my yard is gone. it is just fucking gone. i have been fighting til i am sick and fighting til i cannot move for weeks to try to have SOMETHING when i finally cannot fight anymore and do anything anymore. so i could have a fucking place to sit and enjoy a garden. but that was too fucking much to ask for. and i am done fighting. i will be finishing off what nature fucked over already and getting rid of it all that i can. just fuck it all. i am so tired of fighting. i fucking quit. i quit everything. fuck it all. this will probably be my last year for anything. there is a hole in the fucking wall under the stairs i have been begging for help to fix for four years now. i cannot lift the heavy shit. my body is shit. my brain is following. there is nothing left for me anymore. i quit. i fucking quit. i cannot take this shit anymore and i cannot afford it either. i cannot even find a mother fucking doctor that will take me in this shithole of a town. i cannot afford the vet for my ferret. i cannot get this house clean and i do not have enough spoons for making dinner anymore let alone all the other shit that needs to happen around here. and the fucking boston ferns that took up my basement with me trying to keep them alive are all dead now too. fuck it all. fuck everything. i quit. i cannot even breathe right right now. i feel like my chest is exploding and imploding at the same time. my vision is getting blurry. i feel weak and sick and i just cannot do it anymore. i cannot. i am done. i quit.
 
 
 
Akira Shima
17 March 2014 @ 07:25 am
Hmmm. the walls are slick again. i guess that means that he is back again. the walls always get runny when he comes back. it is ruining my art.

i see him out of the corner of my eye. like always. a shape that is not a shape. and less something there and more something that is not. Like an ill defined hole in space. though of course this is absurd. He is not a hole in space. Quite the opposite in fact. his presence has a great gravity to it, waves of it alter the near by things. I think my fish are growing legs. i really wish he would just send an e-mail at times. but here he is. As it is most mortals would have lost all sanity by this point but i by some artifact of my ancestry just sort of accept it. i can feel the fear screaming in my lizard brain. this utter terror so deep it screams out from my very DNA. yet somehow it is background noise. So he comes. So i shall receive some new message or insight that means nothing anymore. it is not like the things he serves even know what the fuck they are doing. they like most beings of their natures live only in the moment. Even Cthulhu decided to just leave the planet when he rose. Countless years of plotting his return and something shiny in space caught his eye and off he went. he may return but i doubt it. So yeah.

He approaches me in his normal fashion. moving without moving. like those stupid angels people keep talking about in that Professor whothefuckever TV show. Moments like this are why i think Reality TV is so popular. who needs Sci Fi when Extradimensional beings of Unthinkable Power pour themselves into little mortal like phantasms like tea and come to chat. how much more sublime and surreal normal is when you live like this. The little gods in my plants are hiding now. but they know i will not let him touch them. not after that one time. he can be such an asshole

His robes Billow about him with apocalyptic drama and need. his eyes are galaxies spinning in the void of his form. the world grows cold in a way that cannot be described by science.. yet. the light takes on an unearthly glow and taint. kinda like what Frodo saw in those lord of the rings movies but with more disco. He voice but only a whisper Bellows in my head. Gods what a drama queen. and that look is so damn 2018. i barely listen to his Great Cosmic Blaspheming Wisdom. Instead i wonder what is on Netflix. did they ever get the last episodes Honey booboo... Finally he stops his Billowing and Bellowing and sits down. it must be habit that he does that. Annoying it is what it is. the gravity and reality settles back to "normal". sigh... my fish did indeed all get legs. little human legs. and now they are not so great at swimming. and i think i am all out of Elixir of Jade to fix it...

So he hands me an ancient scroll. scrawled upon it are symbols in languages that were long dead before humans were a twinkle in some Alien's perverted mind. however the images on the page need no translations. Ah i do so love Yithian Porn. this one however is kinda gross. I guess it is true that there is nothing new under the sun. Two Yith One drinking horn.... I stare blankly into the void of his being. I would hit him with the scroll but it would just end up falling into some far fetched stellar void never to be seen again. and hell i can get some decent money for it on Etsy.

I make some pizza rolls and sit back for some new reality show based on the life and times of a bakery that specializes in strippers in a cake. He seems amused. Ah life.
 
 
Akira Shima
16 March 2014 @ 02:40 am
Some announcements from the homefront
I got my art show application for AC even though i forgot all about it with all the things going on right now

that giant fucking horrible salon chair made it out the door and was picked up by a scrapper in like a half an hour after going out! it is finally gone. the long national nightmare is over. you can return to your lives now with less fear. but only the smallest amount of less fear. perhaps more fear. for we do not know if the chair has been scrapped or simply found a new place to dwell and plot...

We have a new roommate. viewing hours are between afternoon and sometime after dark. proper food offerings to the new roomie are chips and pepsi. Long Live the Roommate.

where as most of the Sparkle Season decor i cleaned out went to Good will i think Spooky Season stuff i am getting rid of will be gifted to the dear goths in my life. So Kelson and Kelly will soon have bigger gift boxes. since your Sparkle Season gifts are still here. but i am not done going though all of that yet.

Joel i have not found much for your Pennsic Tuchux adventure kit yet but i do have part of a horse pelt so far it is kinda big. half a pelt or so. so what i am offered for that.

Also already finding things for the WPAFW raffle. like a rubber horse toy made out of the same rubber used for dodge balls. chaos will ensue.

and today was the day all the above caught up with me and i was sick most of the day day...
 
 
Akira Shima
13 March 2014 @ 04:21 am
GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING ASS HOLE COCK SUCKING DICK FEEDING SHIT LICKING CRUSTY CLOWN VOMIT SHIT STAINS ON A BABY EMU'S CLOACA!!!!!!!!!

WTF Outlook. really what the god damn cunt leavings were you thinking you piss addled cum brained blood fart! if it was not for me Actually listening to that little voice in my Mother fucking damaged broken mind i would never have found the e-mail i was waiting for you piece of donkey smegma! foul colostomy bag of a maggoty looking excremental being. WHY did hotmail have to become you. it is like turning a car into a slimy clotted yeasty discharge soaked heavy flow tampon! you are so fucking utterly worthless. you could fuck up a one car white supremacist funeral . you are more useless than tits on roadkill! For FUCKS SAKE I ALREADY HAD EMAILS FROM THE PEOPLE I WAS WAITING FOR THIS ONE FROM. WHY DID YOU DO TO IT WHAT YOU DID WITH YOUR PROM BABY AND STICK IN THE TRASH! IF YOU WERE AN ACTUAL BEING I WOULD HAVE THROWN YOU IN FRONT OF A COMBINE THRESHER EVEN THOUGH YOUR STANK NASTY SQUAMOUS FLAILING PUS FILLED GANGRENE RIDDLED POCK MARKED SEMI GELATINOUS DISEASE BREEDING GUANO SACK OF A FETID BODY WOULD JUST CLOG THE DAMN THING WITH PUTRESCENCE. i hate you more than bore worms in my nipples
 
 
Akira Shima
10 February 2014 @ 09:41 pm
So today is a perfect example of my luck? existence? whatever. My arm was feeling slightly better even though there is a weird lump in my armpit now. but i was feeling better. a little. i was all YAY today will be productive day! my pain levels were low. I was going to get to go get much needed groceries. I had plans for the day. since i was having a good arm day i could fold laundry. something i have been barely able to do for a year now.

then i came home.

to a roof leaking in two places in the living room. on either side of a panel of cement board ceiling. the panel that the ceiling fan is on. right above a table filled with important papers and electronic equip stuff and holiday things and my new terrarium and other things. with the fan showering the place with water. and it is cracking in such a way as the other part of the ceiling did before it fell in and destroyed Dave's computer and other shit and left the house looking like Pyramid Head came to decorate. so of course everything had to move. except there is no where to really move shit. The drawer unit in the kitchen was collapsing so i had to take it out so all the stuff in it is everywhere along with long overdue dishes and other shit. the back room has been having shit tossed around in it since one of the Old roomies said rugin christmas he was comign for his shit. so i moved all the other stuff in there around and figured i would clean it all up once his crap was gone and i took down holiday stuff. so it is a fucksty. and downstairs has been a hellhole for a while now what with the chronic pain, fucked up arm, and cleaning out all the shit in the world to do shit. so yeah...

everything is everywhere and all plans destroyed and waiting for the ceiling to collapse cause we have money to throw around everywhere to fix shit like this. if you count pennies....

Kyr helped me move much stuff. which is good cause i am not in a good way right now. i am really not in a good way right now. i feel sick as hell and am shaking and my head hurts and i feel like i have a fever. and like i said. Like every single fucking time. i had plans to better things. i was inspired. things looked up again.

this is why i hate hope. this is why i think nothing will ever get better. this is why i will probably never be the happy person i was. Decades of trying and trying and trying and failing every single fucking time. for reasons always outside of anything i have power over. Always. Always. every single fucking time.

i am not sure who i wronged or what but god damn it TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK I DID WRONG! I CANNOT TRY TO FIX SOMETHING OR APOLOGIZE FOR SOMETHING I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA I DID! WHY????

i just want a simple life anymore. most of my dreams are dead already. my body is broken from decades of stupid shit like this. for fucks sake i cannot even fucking change the lightbulb hanging down here near my art pile of shit cause i can only really use one fucking arm. why can you not just let me heal and try to do something. why am i not allowed to make art and maybe sell it without something more fucking it all up. i cannot even fucking finish a god damn simple feather tattoo design without shit. I AM TIRED OF SHIT!
 
 
Akira Shima
04 January 2014 @ 05:01 pm
i am more deeply wounded than i ever realize. i am sitting here in the cold basement afraid to go upstairs and see someone visiting lest it make them real and make my fears about their presence real. I know we have an open relationship. as much as anyone can call it a relationship. but i am terrified of meeting her. i always loose to women when it comes to relationships. Always. and if it plays like the last one then i am afraid i will be looking for a new home as i get tossed away like so much useless garbage. but then i should be used to this. i really should. i am only ever good enough til something better comes along. that is how it has always been. for just about everything.

yes i should talk to Roxy but i never know how to start a conversation with them. about anything like this anyway. and all the old wounds make it so fucking insanely painful.

yeah great thing to post about for the fucking new year. and after not posting in so damn long
 
 
 
Akira Shima
11 December 2013 @ 05:21 am
does anyone even want me to do the holiday dinner?
 
 
Akira Shima
24 November 2013 @ 08:34 pm
OK so Thanksgiving will be here FRIDAY and SATURDAY. no one is coming thursday that i know of since no one has messaged me otherwise. so yeah. could use the extra day anyway i guess. So yeah Open invite. if you see this you are invited. blah blah blah.

Dennis you can come get stuff on Thursday if you want to but i will not have much food done that day. so you may want to wait a day or so. whatever. i am currently trying to clear stuff out of your way.
 
 
Akira Shima
22 November 2013 @ 06:48 pm
WHO is coming to Thanksgiving. if you are reading this you are invited. I repeat. IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU ARE INVITED FOR TURKEY AND SUCH. so yeah a little bit of a head count and when you may be arriving would be epic. thursday or friday or saturday?
 
 
Akira Shima
13 November 2013 @ 02:27 pm
THANKSGIVING BITCHES!

yeah there has been no ceiling collapse this year so i should be able to pull it off! thats right. come fill your gaping mouth holes with food

as usual it should start the day off and go through the weekend so hide from black friday and the Consumer Zombie Apocalypse here.

Currently i am planning on having
TURKEYS! (hopefully bacon mummified if i can ever get back to rogers to buy the good stuff. which ironically is also the cheapest stuff)
Baked Porn
STUFFING
Mashed Taters
butter fried corn
possible candied yams
some pies
whatever is not fast enough to escape me

So yeah my whores! who be coming.
 
 
Akira Shima
08 November 2013 @ 09:00 pm
OK then...... so that was fun

i have been having this continuing dream fro 4 days now. even if i close my eyes for a little while it continues. It has been evolving and leading to something and led to it's conclusion today while i slept (cause i have been sleeping a LOT for the last four days) it started out with me as a seven year old vampire that was turning 77 and was getting an internet ordered adult guy for a present. through the dreams he was like my teddy bear. a teddy bear that was also a sippy drink cup. somehow he was taken from me and i had to preform all these odd tasks to try to get him back. slowly i stopped being a 7 year old vampire and became an even fatter parody of myself. More adventures with the same people and new ones in more horrible places and more and more embarassing situations. finally i got to this point that i had to defeat various things ending up being sentient cakes with swords and i had to fight down to the last white cake. When i finally got to the last white cake no one would tell me what to do with it til the last moments of the dream. It was a white cake made of cement and frosting and yellow cake with a elbow from a downspout in the center. i was supposed to fit it over a 200 foot tall flagpole and get it to reach the ground. At this point i was fucking determined to do this shit. as i was able to take some control of the dream and cut the pole into a standing piece with a small enough diameter to thread the cake on i was told if i was able to do this then i could have the great reward of dying.

then it got real. there were shadowy things talking to me about it. the inner ganesha had kicked in which would not let me quit but i also did not want to die. then i realized something that in reality i keep deep to myself. I kinda do want to die. and i admitted it out loud in the dream in frustration. All the pain would be gone. all the problems would be gone. all the bad would be gone all my failure would be gone. and for a second i wanted nothing ever as much as i wanted to slam dunk that cake on that sliver of pole so i could die.

but then i felt it in my real body. my heart started beating out of time. some of the voices started egging me on. and a quiet but very loud voice simply stated that did i really want to leave Dave with my mess and to have to deal with all that and after everything would i just leave Aku like that. if i had screamed as loud as i did in the dream i would have broken windows down the block. i tried to jump up anyway only to be hit by some invisible barrier. not because i wanted to die anymore but because i was this fucking close to finally finishing all the things that i had been doing to this point. i was just one tiny move away from finishing all the tasks. My inner Ganesha was furious that i was not done yet. the way should have been clear. finally i hit the ground and tore the damn thing in pieces and tossed them everywhere. in reality my heart stopped being a dick. i felt myself come very very close to completely awake as i breathed in deeply not realizing i had stopped breathing for however long in reality.

now i am awake with fleeting images of this dream in my head. i am pretty sure that was the end of it. IT is cold as fuck outside. it is late. but i need to be near people right now. so i think i am going to go to burger king or something even though it may be raining snowing or what have you and the cold will break me. I just need to be around people right now to know i am alive and working.
 
 
 
Akira Shima
08 November 2013 @ 01:51 am
well i ended up seeing most of it now. I had heard bad things about it like Ceil still being alive and the kind of stuff that makes the end of the first season seem like crap. I am guessing people did not watch past like the first two episodes cause HOLY SHIT! OMFG! best shit ever. a GREAT REASON as to why Ceil was not demon chow. and it had nothing to do with Sebastian deciding to be nice either. and then a cosmic FUCK YOU! of great and epic proportions. All kinds of things that make you go BUT BUT BUT... THAT SHOULD NOT BE! are all tied up nicely. and then it gets surreal. mostly odd shit for the rest of the season such as right now i am watching Ceil in wonderland which is just insane. it is like someone decided that Alice in Wonderland was not fucked up enough so dropped some anime acid on it. SPOILER that makes it worth watching. Grell is the Cheshire cat. I do so love Grell
 
 
Akira Shima
03 November 2013 @ 03:11 am
Ritual tonight was very good. I always feel like a bad host since the fibro makes things hard but everyone reassured me that it was good and ritual had real moments of real emotion as Hallows should. i was surprised i did not cry but i have shed those tears for those i lost so much for so long i do not think i had them tonight. I was also glad that there were serious moments. i was afraid with as many of us that use humour to defuse tension (me chief amoung them) and to try to keep moods light that it might not be what it was meant to be but it had it's serious somber moments.

tomorrow i build the ritual bonfire we could not have this night to place the offerings and thank you letters to the ancestors into. I am so glad that it went well and that people enjoyed it. i know i do not do it like in any book so i worry that i am always doing something wrong. But this night means so much to me as it was Doug's (my adopted dad) favourite holiday too. and he was amoung my honoured dead this night
 
 
Akira Shima
16 October 2013 @ 10:54 pm
well i am somewhat remotely recovered from the WPAFW. slept for 15 hours woke up for a little while and did nothing cause i still hurt so fucking much it was stupid and then went back to sleep and woke up at 2 am to eat and am about to go back to bed after a movie and a short walk trying to stretch my legs since they were cramping.

hoping all the stuff i am missing in the in the piles of stuff at Dobie's. noticed just a few minutes ago that all my new grey art bag is missing. this would be epically bad.

I won a bunch of transformers and some transformer comics. Now i have targets for my bb gun. this makes my day.

Also Kelix Malachite Won the dragon kite i wanted so damn bad and then gave it to me! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE so fucking happy about that. i cannot wait to get the energy to hang that bitch up. there are a few good places down here to do so. it will be so awesome cause the ceiling in my room needs art. Especially things like that.

Went to the museum for our out on the town cause there was NO DAMN WAY my legs were going to do the hills at the zoo. which is sad cause i love the fish there. But hey the Museum also has a thing where with my food stamp card it cost less to get four of us in than it did for parking which was 5 bucks. and Ember Fox got me an african mask to do art for them. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE it is an awesome mask and finally one that Roxanne does not think is the most horrific thing in the world!

all in all the WPAFW was great this year even if i feel like i need a week of being in Physical Therapy with borg implants. and as much as i was on the edge of wanting to utterly quit everything after the month leading up to this i am now excited to get started on next year. i just hope i can get a winter free of new drama and disasters so i can work on stuff for Pennsic and WPAFW and maybe even doing the farmers market. i think i may have learned a few things this year in pain that i may be able to get more done with less pain. though i am going to be killing myself hard for the next few weeks since there is a lot to move and do in the yard and garage and house before both Samhain ritual and well just cold weather coming in and beating my plants to death. I just want to be able to plant next year and not have to spend a month of sundays trying to get things done
 
 
 
Akira Shima
02 October 2013 @ 03:33 am
I love you milk. I WANT YOU INSIDE ME!