it just pours out

so yeah i wrote that stuff trying to get some of it out of me earlier. i knew i was not done. but i was so damn tired from being sick most of the day from the heat. hell i had wanted to sit and watch my mate play portal 2 since it was funny. but i just kept getting sicker and sicker. i went out onto the porch outside and threw up a little. i decided a cold shower would work best. in the shower i had this upwelling of hate. i threw that up in a journal. i tried to sleep now that i was at least a little less physically sick. but the images and anger kept welling up and i would awake with a start. so i got up and decided to just play on the net and get some art ideas. it is the season i can get to sell art after all. and i like doing it on odd things. i do a bit on lanterns



so i was looking about and saw the punch cards and then remembered someone at AC doing stuff on them and looked that up and as i stared at the art... fucking hell if shit did not come rushing back at me from a few months ago. being told i was a liar and that punch cards were only used in mechanical devices and Phones other than cell phones had not used computers. all because i feel the word hacking should apply to computers and not say modifying something in real life which already has a host of words to describe the action like Kludges and MacGuyvering and Jury rigging and Modding and Kit bashing and all sorts of other such phrases. to me hacking is a comp thing and has more to do with playing with the source code or machine language than say just making a small HTML widget. so hacking the real world would be tinkering with the fundamentals of the world. like exploiting Neutrinos to make coffee.

and on my top ten of fucking triggers to set me off.
Calling me a Liar
Bullying me to be silent.
both happened that night. i am so fucking angry right now i can feel the urge to hurt people rising. I will not. i will not become my fucking father. which enrages me more than even the initial hurt. because it lets me know that that fucker is part of me. I do not mind the family on that side. just that abusive fuck. when i feel that hate rise i remember what his hate has done to me and how much he is responsible for those two triggers. and it becomes a feedback loop. right now i am reliveing him beating me in the head for reading something out of my Science text book way back about the Thermosphere. which is a part of the atmosphere. it did not exist i guess in his books when he was a kid so i was lying so instead of looking at the book he just beat me for lying before looking. Then excused himself by saying he had never heard of it.

yes i get to relive shit all the time and lacking the ability to get bored comes with also lacking the ability to really grow a callous to something or get jaded in that it no longer affects me way. so every time is kinda like the first time. it is always fresh.

i wish i could do something to get this anger out of me. i am still so fucking tired. i feel like i cloud drop over but the second i sorta give in to the tired then it all comes back at me. only like a slide show. with many slides being shown at once. i am reliving those moments with my dad and with the more recent episode. and more little side adventures.

i miss my prozac and i really really really need that damn herb i posted about. but i am not going to be able to order it for myself for a long time.

seeing these made me think of this. Also i wish i could find the rest of my blueprints to do art on

-----------------------------------------------

From the 1900s, into the 1950s, punched cards were the primary medium for data entry, data storage, and processing in institutional computing. According to the IBM Archives: "By 1937... IBM had 32 presses at work in Endicott, N.Y., printing, cutting and stacking five to 10 million punched cards every day."[5] Punched cards were even used as legal documents, such as U.S. Government checks[6] and savings bonds. The UNITYPER introduced magnetic tape for data entry in the 1950s. During the 1960s, the punched card was gradually replaced as the primary means for data storage by magnetic tape, as better, more capable computers became available. Mohawk Data Sciences introduced a magnetic tape encoder in 1965, a system marketed as a keypunch replacement which was somewhat successful, but punched cards were still commonly used for data entry and programming until the mid-1980s when the combination of lower cost magnetic disk storage, and affordable interactive terminals on less expensive minicomputers made punched cards obsolete for this role as well.[7] However, their influence lives on through many standard conventions and file formats. The terminals that replaced the punched cards, the IBM 3270 for example, displayed 80 columns of text in text mode, for compatibility with existing software. Some programs still operate on the convention of 80 text columns, although fewer and fewer do as newer systems employ graphical user interfaces with variable-width type fonts.

Today punched cards are mostly obsolete and replaced with other storage methods, except for a few legacy systems and specialized applications.

-------------------------------------------

Raymond W. Ketchledge (December 8, 1919 - October 23, 1987)[1][2] was an American engineer, known for his contributions to the first computerized telephone switching control systems.

Born in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania,[3] he earned a B.Sc. and M.Sc. (1942) in electrical engineering from Massachusetts Institute of Technology before joining Bell Labs where he stayed his whole professional career (1942-1982).

At Bell Labs he first worked on the Mark 24 FIDO Torpedo used in World War II, then he took part in developing the first underwater repeater systems and the L3 coaxial carrier for Transatlantic telephone cable systems (1946-54), before he became leader of the Switching systems development group (1956). This brought him fame due to the pioneering work on applying stored program architecture to telephone switching systems. Ketchledge oversaw the installation project for the first 1ESS switch in Succasunna (1965).

Following this he directed the Indian Hill laboratories of Naperville, Illinois (1966-75) before returning to New Jersey where he oversaw the Ocean systems research division in Whippany, New Jersey until his retirement. He held sixty patents in diverse areas, including thirty-one in switching system. Ketchledge died of cancer in Englewood, Florida.

==================================================================
Phreaking is a slang term coined to describe the activity of a culture of people who study, experiment with, or explore telecommunication systems, such as equipment and systems connected to public telephone networks. As telephone networks have become computerized, phreaking has become closely linked with computer hacking.[1] This is sometimes called the H/P culture (with H standing for hacking and P standing for phreaking).

===============

The origins of phone phreaking trace back at least to AT&T's implementation of fully automatic switches. These switches used tone dialing, a form of in-band signaling, and included some tones which were for internal telephone company use. One internal-use tone was a tone of 2600 Hz which caused a telephone switch to think the call was over, leaving an open carrier line which could be exploited to provide free long-distance and international calls. At that time, long-distance calls were quite expensive.[2]

The tone was discovered in approximately 1957,[2] by Joe Engressia, a blind seven-year old boy. Engressia was skilled with perfect pitch, and discovered that whistling the fourth E above middle C (a frequency of 2600 Hz) would stop a dialed phone recording. Unaware of what he had done, Engressia called the phone company and asked why the recordings had stopped. This was the beginning of his love of exploring the telephone system.[2]

Other early phreaks, such as "Bill from New York", began to develop a rudimentary understanding of how phone networks worked. Bill discovered that a recorder he owned could also play the tone at 2600 Hz with the same effect. John Draper discovered through his friendship with Engressia that the free whistles given out in Cap'n Crunch cereal boxes also produced a 2600 Hz tone when blown (providing his nickname, "Captain Crunch"). This allowed control of phone systems that worked on single frequency (SF) controls. One could sound a long whistle to reset the line, followed by groups of whistles (a short tone for a "1", two for a "2", etc.) to dial numbers.

=========================================

A second common form of signaling for supervision was called single-frequency or SF signaling. The most common form of this used a steady 2,600 Hz tone to identify a trunk as idle. Trunk circuitry hearing a 2,600 Hz tone for a certain duration would go idle. (The duration requirement reduced falsing). Some systems used tone frequencies over 3,000 Hz, particularly on SSB frequency division multiplex microwave radio relays.

On T-carrier digital transmission systems, bits within the T-1 data stream were used to transmit supervision. By careful design, the appropriated bits did not change voice quality appreciably. Robbed bits were translated to changes in contact states (opens and closures) by electronics in the channel bank hardware. This allowed direct current E and M signaling, or dial pulses, to be sent between electromechanical switches over a digital carrier which did not have DC continuity.

honestly this is me just getting the voices in my head down and out. the screaming i want to do and the bile i must spew. i doubt most of this will be very cohereint as the insanity in my head rarely is and i jump from one fucker to another reliving everything again and again.

( Read more... )

Honestly i am so attracted to personality. and big dicks. and nice bods and gills and fins and i really like it if they go to a local EOD church. and large batrachian orbs are a must

sorry the disbelief got to me

Ummmmm I wonder if they are ancestors of Ursula Vernon.

fuck you heat. fuck you in the mouth with a dead mans dick dipped in raw sewage and rolled in broken CF light bulbs.

already sick from you and it has not even hit over 82 today and has been about 78 in the house. yet here i am with the sick and the dizzy and the wanting to die like heat always does to me.

when some fucking asshat in an LJ group posts something that is honestly angering to you. and you have an opinion about it so they decided to troll you into responding by posting "Inspirational" shit about why no matter the disability you can Overcome it with Joy and happy thoughts and a bit of fucking tofu and yoga.

several people who still read this on occasion know i used to be a ball of happy manic. in fact Esprix was told me it kinda scared people. you know what that happy never stopped. that constant active me never fixed. that eat healthy but i was still fat new ager positive energy trying to make the world a better place shit did not prevent. My back from getting worse and making me not only in pain all the time but crippling me up. It did not prevent all the bad shit i went through which reading backward through my journal can show you if you really want. it did not stop people from using me and throwing me away. it did not make someone i defended because they were one of my best friends suddenly not be a pedo. it did not keep people i loved from being killed, it did not keep people in my life i really wanted to stay. it dod not keep injury at bay nor huge drama or floods or fires or any other thing at bay. those slowly tore me down to the bitter fuck i am now.

yes i am bitter. and i get really fucking bitter when some tofued up health nut thinks that my life can be fixed with a motivational poster and pics of healthy food and some fucking yoga. I should have long since been in a fucking wheel chair. i have days i do not eat breakfast til supper for the fact that all i can do is look at the fucking stairs and know unless i crawl up them i am not getting up there.

this past Pennsic Practice i was in ungodly pain and could not stay up to see someone arrive simply cause i walked back and forth to the lake. and i was within sight of it.
My first walk to the store took 15 minutes and i was camped near where Midrealm camps at pennsic.

every year i see more and more of me go away. so yeah i am bitter. i tired hard and have never given up but i still get looked on like some fat slob that had no power during his life and am only getting what i deserve. back when i was more mobile i was also more active than most everyone i knew. doing everything that needed doing when it needed it. even as i grew more and more crippled up i kept going. but i guess i have to win a marathon to be good enough. that i have to get outfitted with new legs to show i am worthy. to have a back injury that actually heals to overcome that makes me awesome.

instead i have some fuck troll me and then play OMG I DID NOTHING WRONG! i am innocent and only try to inspire. How can you troll with inspirational pics!

looked pretty fucking easy to me. and NO FUCKER I AM NOT PROJECTING MY SHIT ON YOU. other people in the group post inspirational stuff. they do not make every single post that and the kind that shoves one ideal down your throat. but then i see you have not just done this shit to me but others as i have gone back through the list. and you think you are innocent. fuck you and the yoga mat shoved firmly up your ass.

and NO i have nothing at all against Yoga. i have everything against your idea of it and it being the magic happy pill that cures all and makes the fat go away cause fat is evil.


also i am sure somedays as you have said at least 7 times as a personal attack that i am not always the nicest person to be near but for some damn reason i seem to have a lot of friends.

The quake struck in the farm region known for production of Parmigiano and Grana cheeses. Italy's farm lobby Coldiretti said that some 200,000 huge, round cheeses were damaged, causing a loss to producers of €50 million ($65 milion).

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it is not that there is an epidemic of fat people in America or the world. it is just that we are pre evolving for when the world is utterly flooded and we have to live in the water.

http://www.out.com/entertainment/popnography/2012/05/11/crazy-woman-gives-bizarre-incoherent-anti-gay-speech-city#.T7idbpHFeng.livejournal

yeah she is probably mentally ill and that is sad but OMFG if it were not for the other hatemongers in the world she would not have the ammo for it.

anyway enjoy your anti gay hate crazy for the day while i go lick and asshole and get sepsis and die in a half an hour. or go murder someone cause gays love the murder and we are all homiciders

for a very long time i had only ONE animal fear. Yellow Jackets. not bees or wasps or even many other hornets. specifically Yellow Jackets.

When i was a kid my brother opened a truck hood our dad had told us to open cause the fucker knew there were yellow jackets in there and he was afraid of them. so of course he got kids to do it cause thats what you are supposed to have them for. So my brother did. and the nest was ripped in two. causing of course the bees to spill out like all hell. My brother simply ran like a gazelle. I think he knew what was coming. i am pretty sure i was distracted by a flower of some sort for i remember thinking it was very awesome looking and then YELLOW JACKETS! They were all over me. One bit me in the eye. while it was open. right in the pupil. this was also evidently my first blind rage. My dad and brother later told me it was like watching godzilla destroy planes. my hands were completely swollen. they said i must have killed half the hive. nothing they could do could get me to leave the spot and they would not come in. (my dad was allergic i guess. i have never seen him bit but i know he reacted to them like he reacted to snakes and both were insane overkill to either exterminate or flee. so yeah he was just phobic) Anyway after than i became filled with hatred at the fuckers. INSANE HATRED. one time i found a nest of them and waited about 20 feet away with a bb gun. i shot every single one of them that came or went for about an hour. then i guess they thought something was amiss. cause they stopped exiting. i went up and gathered up all the dead ones i could find. took them to my picnic table and beheaded all of them. took the heads and mounted them on straight pins stuck through a coffee can lid. once i had my macabre still life done i placed it in front of the entrance to the nest. i think there were about 50 heads. I also once found a nest with a few entrances that was underground. I put mason jars over all but on entrance and then started flooding the nest with gasoline. i never lit it. i just sat watching them all die from the fumes trying desperately to escape through the jars.

yeah i am pretty sure a lot of horrible things are probably payback for that shit. but i have in the last half a decade made up with them. they no longer bother me and i no longer hunt them. in fact there is a hive near the garage that has been there since i moved in and not once has any bit me and as a result i make sure people do not fuck with the nest.

I now however do have a few animals i kinda have a bit of an aversion too that i never did before. Small dogs... bitey motherfuckers, tarantulas. having one crawl across your face while sleeping will do that. White teenaged kids.

so went to Pennsic Practice. things were nice other than way to much sun. and my sleeping bags kept sliding over the tent floor making me wake up in odd places which was weird since for a level spot you really cannot beat our spot at Pennsic Practice. but yeah.

Anyway won a few good things at the raffle thanks to Anna and others. got the Raffle leftovers to add to thew stuff i have for WPAFW. not that all of it will go to that. Some is just going to have to go to stuff like goodwill or such.

The white trash pavilion we used for shade i made look spiffy but it could have been so much better if i had brought a like silk plants and a few other things like that. but as it was it was awesome.

people were great
got some nice life from the lake to hopefully help re-jumpstart my pond.
went to dynasty. YAY! sushi makes so many things better.

had a koi die. cause something must always die if i go away for more than 24 hours and have a good time.
evidently we left and according to Dave everything went blooey.
two filters said FUCK OFF! and one of the lights went BOOM! and of course koi death. so yeah...

but yeah i got home and dropped into my bed and other than getting up to pee i was asleep from a bit after i think 5 or maybe a little later til 9 am this morn. and honestly i am still frikken tired.

also as much as i despise the quality of posts and drama on fucking facebook i am probably going to have to get one of the hated things since it is the only place people seem to know how to fucking update. I am going to get into so many fucking flame threads... or whatever facebook calls them and trademarked so no one else can call them. time to make up a whole new me since Minecraft has nothing on the data mining they do.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/2012/05/14/uk-china-instant-building-idUKBRE84D0GH20120514


though honestly human sacr5ifices make better buildings. just look at the Aztec structures. Still standing strong after all this time and disasters cause they have a lot of heart :)

so i nodded off for a moment watching Dave play Plants vs Zombies on the magical box that makes pictures move.

in the very quick dream i had a moment of being in a zombie apocalypse and suddenly i had this breakthrough of what attracted zombies to humans. it was a smell. Turns out it was pheromones. so i whipped up a batch of them and started spraying zombies. they all turned on each other. it was rather interesting but i woke up before i did anything other than make an undead mosh pit

I made a very interesting observation. last night while i was dreaming every single time i saw A bright object my eye would respond to the it by moving the iris.

How do i know this? Irititis. my swollen iris in my eye would suddenly hurt as if i was looking at the object in reality. and would wake me up.

at first i thought maybe i was just hitting my eye or something and waking up and my dreams were interpreting the pain as seeing a bright object. so being able to lucid dram (though not nearly as well as i used to) i decided to in my dream find bright objects and low they would make my eye react and hurt.

i find this rather interesting.

http://anthropologist.livejournal.com/1314574.html#t13904398


and if you wish to keep your sanity do not read the comments section as deluded people do everything to defend their hatred.

of course it is hilarious what they forget they are supposed to support if they take the book literally.

yet again does my eye offend me. how i wish i could pluck the fucker out. luckily i still have the eyedrops. unluckily i was going to be doing stuff around the house and yard today but right now even a tiny christmas bulb is painful to view. so i am a pirate again with an eyepatch and feeling like i got punched so hard in the eye as to cause migraines. i think that will just have me hiding in bed all day til dark.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/05/120508103803.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+sciencedaily+%28ScienceDaily:+Latest+Science+News%29

The stone model helps us to understand obscure technical terms in the description of Solomon's palace as described in 1 Kings 7, 1-6. The text uses the term "Slaot," which were mistakenly understood as pillars and can now be understood as triglyphs. The text also uses the term "Sequfim," which was usually understood as nine windows in the palace, and can now be understood as "triple recessed doorway."

Similar triglyphs and recessed doors can be found in the description of Solomon's temple (1 Kings 6, Verses 5, 31-33, and in the description of a temple by the prophet Ezekiel (41:6). These biblical texts are replete with obscure technical terms that have lost their original meaning over the millennia. Now, with the help of the stone model uncovered at Khirbet Qeiyafa, the biblical text is clarified. For the first time in history we have actual objects from the time of David, which can be related to monuments described in the Bible.



i find this kind of stuff endlessly fascinating. i do hope they show how the town was laid out. a lot of these early "primitive" cities were laid out to take advantage of the sun and passive solar energy for heating and cooling and that shit is awesome

and not a drop of fucking much needed rain. SO MUCH BIG WEATHER HAPPENING ALL AROUND ELLWOOD CITY! and nothing in it. heheheh FUCK YOU WEATHER!

last friday STORMS WERE SUPPOSED TO DROWN ALL WE LOVED! 15 minute sprinkle. no lie. that was our rain. the road never even got uniformly wet from it. meanwhile it RAGED LIKE A DRAG QUEEN THAT JUST BROKE A HEEL ON A PRICELESS SET OF HEELS MADE BY KARL LAGERFELD HIMSELF OUT OF PIECES THAT FELL OFF LADY GAGA.


yeah



did that today. do you have ANY IDEA how annoying it is to see your plants wilting and in some cases probably dead from the heat and lack of rain while watching the other side of your town get washed away in a great storm...

yeah there is a threat right now for a GREAT AND POWERFUL STORM RIGHT NOW. guess what is JUST NORTH of me right now.

of course my mood could be better considering that my LEGS FEEL LIKE THEY ARE IN THE HELL WHERE PEOPLE ARE SKINNED ALIVE AND THROWN IN BOILING OIL WITH SHITTY TEMPURA BATTER THAT WILL FALL OFF AT BAD TIMES AND LEAVE STAINS ON YOUR NICE WHITE FUCKING SHIRT RIGHT BEFORE YOU ARE TO GIVE A SPEECH AT THE U.N. OMFG THEY HURT SO FUCKING MUCH.

http://www.courant.com/community/west-hartford/hc-west-hartford-coady-museum-20120502,0,4394350.story

see not all humanity sucks.

The event will run from noon on Thursday May 17, 2012 through Sunday May 20 at 3:00 PM. Troll will close on Saturday at 3:00 PM; all participants must be registered before that time or access to the site will not be granted. The weekend will include many types of marshal activities, including Heavy Weapons, Combat Archery, Fencing Thrown Weapons, Archery and Youth fighting. Among the peaceful pursuits we will include Classes, Meetings, Shopping and More.



Yeah that is a couple of weeks away. very Close.

so who is going and camping with us this year.

we have a few things to discuss here then if you are
and please answer here on my live journal. not on someone else's face book or twit or what have you. you can friggen post anon here. people do it all the damn time. but you cannot see what others may post if you do not and there will be no discussion and only chaos and cats and dogs living together and mass hysteria and straight men will have periods and every bachelor pad will look like a murder scene and old socks will be soaked in the chunky blood of...

ahem you get the idea

Anyway we have the option of using a nice white trash pavilion from the shop as Master Tristan said last year. however there was will be no doing that if people cannot help or want to help with that. it would give us a nice place to hide from the probable rain or death sun we get at this event. there is never normal everyday weather there and you know it. but if it would be to much hassle or not enough people showing then so be it

if it is decided to do so then it would be awesome to bring stuff to make it look great. i was thinking along the lines of the Inner Vagabond since that has a wonderful feel to it. so pretty fabric and such to line the walls and such would be awesome.


the other thought i had was bringing the Wok back. but i am in no way shape or form filled with cash to fill it. i can get some stuff for sure. but would need other things to toss in. if we were to do the massive stir fry again.

Again if there is no interest then i am not doing it. getting there is going to be enough of a hassle this year as it is. all we have is Kelson's half dead ride.

Also Also wik there is rumor of the bridge to the camp from off 422 being not there due to reconstruction. i have no idea if this is true. i have not been there. i see nothing on the site but then they may not have been there yet either. this is something to note since it will make the trip longer.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-tech/post/cispa-passes-the-house-privacy-battle-moves-to-senate/2012/04/27/gIQA7cJBlT_blog.html
fuck nipple dick whore shit casserole cunt biscuit turd burgling milk scabs