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07 July 2014 @ 05:29 pm
Back from AC  
Holy shit fuck. even with my mobility scooter i am still so damn sore... also i ripped the skin off my knee trying to go through the handicapped door entrance at the Westin. that was lovely. luckily i clot like creme on a hot summer day while waiting to be poured on someone outdoors for a sexy picnic that will later be ruined not only by food poisoning from the poor choice of using gone off creme on someone's genitals as a kick but also by the runaway funeral comedy of errors that will occur nearby resulting in a coffin on wheels speeding by and ripping off the wig of the drag queen that was going down on the guy who had no idea and later both of them being trampled but not killed by the funeral goers trying to stop the coffin from getting away but which will ultimately be hit by a bus full of Nuns on the way to the hospital who all have dysentery and will of course all explode violently with horrific diarrhea when they hit to coffin which will of course have a knocked out midget in it high on drugs who was the deceased's gay lover who came to get some money from the family of the dead guy who said he would take care of him resulting in other hilarious hijinks which ended with him bashing his head into a coffee table after falling off the couch during a wrestling scene where he tried to escape being captured and silenced before he could spill the beans to the wife of the guy who is still quite dead by the kids of the dead guy and alive wife which also involved being sat on by the hilariously overweight aunt who is actually a skinny undercover detective looking for the drug dealing boyfriend of the daughter of the dead guy and alive wife who happened to bring some drugs to the party in a prescription bottle that everyone keeps finding and using to calm down other people at the funeral but just keeps getting them unbelievably high resulting in a hysterical sobbing wife throwing herself at the coffin before it was lowered which lands on the skateboarding cousin whose skate board can somehow handle the weight of it all and sends it speeding downhill at a drag queen and duped but loveable clueless guy who fell for the drag queen and that the drag queen also loves but has gotten in over her feet with and then exploding diarrhea nuns.

so in other words the bleeding stopped quickly.

also for the first fucking time ever in my life something of mine got more than 2 bids. in fact it fucking went to voice auction. VOICE AUCTION MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it went for 60 fucking bucks. 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

the last bid before that to take it there was like 23. so it had a few bids to get to 60.

that was pretty damn awesome.

sadly nothing in the Adult section of the show got a single big on it even the Model red rocket which i guess was for the best.

there were many other hijinks as well like a very drunk White Wer laughing til he almost died because of wet fart noises made by Kelson and discussion of the Mandarin Orange's pleasure palace where in i would take a bite of a grape and juice the rest of it on my nipple and offer a tiny thimble sized cup of freshly nipple juiced juice to Kage asking him if he wished to have some Grape Juice a al Dionysus and other insanity including finger forks being used to offer small smoked sausages to people and all the people in the tent providing entertainment only wearing strategically draped cloth and lounging in the most seductive manners

overall a great con
eqfeeqfe on July 8th, 2014 12:12 am (UTC)
Voice auction, the impressive.

So nice to read that you had a good time for a change.

Your stream of consciousness bit on clotting made me laugh, thanks.
Akira Shimaakirashima on July 13th, 2014 08:41 am (UTC)
i was hoping it would make someone giggle
Jaydencrypticwyrd on July 8th, 2014 11:08 am (UTC)
That would make a great movie... I'd watch that.

I hope that your leg feels better.
Akira Shimaakirashima on July 13th, 2014 08:43 am (UTC)
i was thinking that. part of it already is a movie. and then i threw in a LOT more cause my head mashes movies together to make better movies in my head

and my leg will hopefully get better soon. it got a little bit infected but seems to be clearing up. still hurts like all hell right now but i really did mess it up some