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21 September 2014 @ 06:19 pm
Sorry but i need to bitch someplace others do not read.  


i cannot handle this anymore. no one cares one fucking whit. everything is in my god damn way while the self same people that bitch shit needs done put it there. everytime i clean even a small area it is filed again. everytime i need help moving shit that they promised to help me move they would rather play video games and if they do deign to get off their asses they do a half assed job and leave it undone. I have rounded up a HUGE amount of stuff to get rid of. last week i asked them to get it out to the garbage. half of it never went out. recycling only happens every two weeks. so it cannot go out for another fucking two weeks. in that time i am going to be spleen deep in doing shit. I have told them no less than 50 times now that certain piles of things needed to go downstairs. they are still sitting in the same fucking place from over a month ago. i would do it but i have been working on shit so fucking hard i can barely move at all anymore. i have to go up the stairs now on all fours cause my legs cannot do it otherwise and i CANNOT take a long break. everything needs done before the WPAFW which is in less than two fucking weeks and they fucking know it. all that shit has to come down and be cleaned out and fucking sorted and moved and sorted again and all manner of shit before then as well as i need to cook up a BUNCH of shit and i CANNOT AND WILL NOT WAIT TIL THE LAST FUCKING MOMENT LIKE ALWAYS. I CANNOT DO IT. MY BODY CANNOT DO IT. IT SIMPLY FUCKING CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE WHICH IS WHY THIS IS MY LAST YEAR FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING. I CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE. I CANNOT. MY BODY CANNOT DO THIS SHIT. IT CANNOT. IT REACHED ITS LIMIT QUITE A FUCKING WHILE AGO. I AM NEVER ALLOWED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK OR I GET PUNISHED BY MORE SHIT ACCUMULATING THAT I HAVE TO DO BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IN THE FUCKING UNIVERSE SEEMS TO GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT PUTTING MORE OBSTACLES IN MY GOD DAMN WAY. AND I HAVE NO REALISTIC WAY OUT OF THIS SHIT. THERE IS NONE. I CANNOT EVEN JUST GET RID OF EVERYTHING I OWN. FOR FUCKS SAKE I HAVE TRIED GIVING IT AWAY AND NO ONE WILL TAKE IT. I NEED TO GET THIS SHIT DONE AND I CANNOT. I HURT SO FUCKING MUCH I CANNOT BARELY MOVE. EVERYTHING IN ME HURTS SO DEEPLY ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP AND CRY. YET THERE IS ALWAYS MORE AND THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO ME STILL ACT LIKE MY PAIN AND BROKEN BODY IS A FUCKING JOKE. I HATE THIS. I CANNOT DO THIS. I NEED FUCKING REAL HELP. AND THERE IS NONE.
 
 
 
eqfeeqfe on September 22nd, 2014 12:40 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry that you are so isolated. ::hugs:: Useless I know.
ladyapple27ladyapple27 on September 22nd, 2014 07:21 am (UTC)
You know that I'm not a violent person, but I'm thinking about coming up there and hitting those jerks over the head with a wet mop.

I've been thinking about you, and I bought you some dried apples, GoldRush this time. As usual, I've misplaced your address and have to ask you to PM me again. I've been a bit stressed lately, and stress makes me absent-minded. A few more days of living near my sister Julie and her family, and I'll not even remember my own name.

It's not of any real use to you, but I'd help if I lived closer to you. I admire you very much and hope that my good wishes for you help.
Arthur and Kevin's Nellorat: armadillo_squashed_by_misfortunenellorat on September 22nd, 2014 03:28 pm (UTC)
I also wish I were close enough to help. One thing I can do & want to do: give you the money to bring in Got Junk! That is GIVE, not lend. Life is so unfair--I am lucky in most ways, and I don't deserve the luck--so I really do want to make life more fair. The horrible people you mention will benefit, but life is unfair in that way, too. PLEASE LJ message me with where I can wire the money; I will find out & give you the GOT JUNK contact info. PLEASE. I am very serious. (PS: I like the nice clean rat ads for GOT JUNK, too, so they deserve to be rewarded.)
Akira Shimaakirashima on October 2nd, 2014 04:24 pm (UTC)
I will have to message you later. the WPAFW is tomorrow and i have so much yet to do before people arrive to take some things ahead for me. and i hit a wall and had my body give up mostly a while ago.