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Akira Shima
28 September 2013 @ 04:24 am
So yeah i spotted this article on Daniel Hermance's page.
http://listcovery.com/how-to-make-a-boy-fall-in-love/

i know i have tried most of these and i think i know where i may have gone wrong

1 Sexy looks always attract

well obviously i am not doing that one.

2 Smile well and often.

I try that. but then they see the fifteen rows of teeth and all the gibbering mouths that cover the rest of my body and just scream....

3 Be Mysterious.

maybe it was hiding just out of sight from them in the fog that one time or maybe the surprise initiation into the EoD. Perhaps that brooding look i use when i am on a telephone pole outside their house... perhaps that was a bit to much.

4 be a good listener

well to be truthful most people get creeped out when you describe the sound of the blood pumping through their body. Or maybe it was the way i could hear them talking in hushed whispers while trying to escape...

5 Leave messages

Sigh i did that all the time. and i made sure they would get them. most people do not miss monolithic standing stones in the middle of their yard covered in scrawled writings of a language so old that human tongue cannot begin to process it written glowing black ichor. so it is not like i dropped the ball on that.

6 Leave him wanting more

did that. i saw him desperately sucking at the crack in the door for more air as the dark fluids filled in. and i left that other guy wanting his internal organs. and another hottie i left him wanting the antidote to Naga venom.

7 Be the helping hand

now this one is just bullshit. I was the helping hand. Hell i was a hundred grasping pulling flailing appendages and all they did was complain.

8 Show maturity.

Again this does not work. i showed them my maturity and it seems once you get past a few thousand eons no one wants you anymore. Last time i act my age. people get all weirded out when you show them the Precambrian fossils of your ancestors in the family slate slabs

9 be caring when ever your partner needs

Again i guess i was too caring when i tried to entomb them in my entrails to keep them warm and safe. there is just no pleasing some people...

10 Plenty of Compliments.

no matter how many times i told them that their brain stem was the single most delicious one i had ever tasted they just failed about and frothed at the mouth...

11 Meet his parents.

I thought the dinner night was lovely. but all they could do was complain about this and that. Like use a napkin. do not order anything expensive. Spit grandma back up right now, proper people do not vomit up digestive fluids on the wait staff for consumption, no elbows on the table. please stop eating me. Oh god no! It just went on and on.

12 Show Faith

I showed a lot of faith. i even took their family to my temple. I guess they could not handle that they were christian and my church happens to open into mind bending vistas of terrible reality where the songs of the mad outer gods echo through your soul rending it like beef fat for tallow.

13 Enjoy your hobbies and let him enjoy his.

I was all about this. but yeah i could have soundproofed the study so the screams of sewn together hell beasts would not interrupt his football games...

14 do not be stuck all the time, let him loose

i did that too. in the planes of Leng. Also that one time when we were falling through the dark abyss.

15 Don't be limited.

well i can honestly it was him that was more limited than i was. he could only handle three dimensions.... sigh. One time i try to take him to enjoy some time in the 5th dimension and WHAM that was too much.

16 do tell him how you think of him when you are alone.

i did. maybe it was a little graphic when i described a few things. like how absolutely hot it was going to be when i gave him a few new love holes.

17Sacrifice

oh did i sacrifice for him. all he did was throw up when i gifted him with the entrails of that angora goat. I mean that was a top quality goat. Heck Thor would have given me instant access to Valhalla with that goat. not to mention what i got from Yog Sothoth from that one. but nope not good enough for any of the men i try to please.

18 young man shaving

whut? People are notoriously blunt objects and shaving with one would be a lesson in futility...

19 confident eye contact

I used at least fifteen eyes at any given moment. but again not good enough. some of my eyes literally have minds of their own.... it is not my fault.
 
 
Akira Shima
24 September 2013 @ 04:22 pm
HOLY FUCKSHIT! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT!
http://www.wpafw.org/
IT IS THE WPAFW BITCHES! ONLY THE BEST FUCKING THING EVER.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR. WHY HAVE YOU NOT SIGNED UP. PREREG MOTHERFUCKERS.

I MEAN ODIN'S TITS MAN! THERE IS A HUGE FUCKING RAFFLE HOSTED BY A HUGE MOTHERFUCKER DRESSED IN ORANGE RAISING MONEY FOR AWESOME LAND SHARKS! SOME MAY HAVE LASERS ON THEIR FUCKING HEADS.

WE HAVE ACTIVITIES TOO. NOT LIKE THOSE PUSSY ASS ACTIVITIES EVERYONE ELSE DOES LIKE DWARF TOSSING AND PROJECTILE SWEATING ON PUPPIES! WE HAVE A DRUM CIRCLE! THATS RIGHT YOU CAN BEAT OUT YOUR FRUSTTRATIONS AT YOUR MEANINGLESS LIFE ON DRUMS MADE FROM FLESH! * **

CHARITY POKER! YUP YOU YEASTY COD PIECES! GAMBLE ON THE INNOCENT LIVES OF LANDSHARKS! I MEAN FOR THE LIVES OF INNOCENT LAND SHARKS.... I MEAN TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE LAND SHARKS WHO MAY NOT BE SO INNOCENT. OF BEING FUCKING ADORABLE!

AND FOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD SHOVE YOUR FUCKING PIEHOLE WITH PIE. SO MUCH PIE AND FOOD YOU WILL EAT TIL YOU EXPLODE. AND FUCK IT IS NOT THE RAMEN AND SHOE BROTH SO MANY OF YOU LIVE ON ALREADY.

NOT GET YOUR NOTACON ON BITCHES!



* cruelty free skins. at least the skins are free from being treated cruelly. you know until you start beating out your heathen mating calls on them

** Also our drums are guaranteed to be not made from puppies and kittens. not guaranteed to be from the skins of sweat shop worker children.
 
 
Akira Shima
12 September 2013 @ 11:17 am
also appologies for bad spelling and shit i cannot see well at all right now. everything is foggy. but i am going to try anyway

saturday before labor day i woek up with the twinge of iritis (Honestly look it up. i am guessing you have all graduated past the second grade and have more that two functioning brain cells and can maybe possibly even copy paste a damn word into google.) So i went to find my eye drops for it. They were gone. I got pissed. i ended up dumping shit out of bags and all manner of thing. No Fucking Eye Drops to be had

So i figured i knew what they were. and while my doctor was not open that day the ER was. Yes i know ERT BAD ER BAD. well fuck off since i have nothing else and no way around to alot of things so it is what the fuck i had.

so after the farmers market picking up produce to start prepping for stuff i went there. after an hour i was seen. I was tol di did not have my old friend Iritis and that it was a corneal scrathc and they gave me eyedrops that ended up making it all worse.
well fuck.

so monday i come back telling them that the drops are made of pure hate and are making everything worse and that if they just gave me the fucking eye drops i had asked for then i coul dbe good and on my fucking way. NOPE!!!!! you have uveitis! Level Up. and even though the fuckiung care sheet says to give you the drops you asked for here have some fucking antibacterial drops for an autoimmune infection that is not caused by a outside vector.

the new drops were much like the googgles of Mega man fame. they did nothing.

tuesday morning i go to my eye doctor. Get told they cannot give me an appoint ment til like monday. Fine make one for me. Stupid looks. eventually i just fucking leave.

back to the ER trip three. Ask if there are any other doctors of the eye type in town. after all all i have is a mobility scooter for ALL my transport needs. Nope they do not think they do. but tell me to go look it up as they ALREADY KNOW i cannot see shit and definitely cannot fucking read at all with my eyes being whores.

Call the eye doctor again on thrusday since the ER called them and they tried to blow up my fucking phone in the ER calling me even though all cell phone signals are mostly blocked in the fucking ER. Anyway i get told that not only could i not get a quick eye appo8intment despite the pain and bullshit but that indeed they would not have a fucking doctor til october

friday go back to ER since now pain is everywhere in my upper face. This shit has been so god damned bad i have been unable to read anything. light was beyond horific. i have been driving around town endlessly looking for help with only one working eye and no depth perception. Hell i had to keep buying pre made food for the entire fucking time since i nearly cut my own finger off trying to cut a fucking cucumber. and when Dave asked me to cook some salmon i almost tossed it into the trash trying to flip the fucking thing. I have been a danger to myself all the time. Could barely eat unless i had my eyes closed since focusing on anything was like haveing a steak knife through the eye (they work as a team) and not being able to sleep for more that two hours at a time because if i slept on my one side it would hurt the eye. if i flipped to the other side it hurt my nigh useless fucking arm. and well sleeping on my fucking back is NO since my fat makes it hard to breath like that.

so yeah already not happy.

so i go to the ER on friday cause the pain has spread. I am trying to go with their fucking diagnosis and think maybe the "infectoin" has spread. So my ONLY thought was maybe they can give me something for that so i can sleep at least. THAT IS THE ONLY THING that was in my head

Cue Dr Fuckface McHamfist. Starts the session with me by tell8ing me EVRYTHING is my fault. and that i cannot sue them. Had no thought of that til then. Argues with me that i cannot have been told what i was told. dismisses me trying to say anything really tells me i have Iritis Which i knew a fucking week ago Yells at me about how importan my fucking eye is at which point i have had it and scream back that i am a fucking artist and i know how fucing iomportant my eye is and that is it not my fault that i am fucking poor and do not have ways to make it to pittsburgh or where the fuck ever he thinks i should go. He decides to give me an eye exam. with h9is bare hands. and the brightest lights this side of a galatci collision. he just grabs my fucking eye lid and turns it inside out to keep my eye open. just hamfists my fucking eye. and then as the last fucking thing puts his fucking thumb on it and PRESSES in and says non chanlantly the pressure is fine. they he calls my eye doctor and i can hear that he is supposed to be on call that night but does not have him come in. comes in and tells me again that i am lair about what i was told trying to get an appointment and that to call them saturday morning and that i would get hold of the doctor himself,. hands me the paper on iritis which HAS THE EXACT RECOMMENDATION OF THE MEDICINE I HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR RIGHT ON THE FUCKING THING! but does not give me the medicine. By the point my eye hurts so fucking bad all i can do is openly cry like a baby in a chipper shredder. and do so for like a fucking hour before i can move. I gimp my way home on the scooter without being able to see. i have no idea how i gto home really.

called saturday morning. get told they are not open and cannot give me a fucking appointment and to call back monday morning. My eye hurt worse than anything i have felt in a long time. right up there with the spinal injury. i was useless and could barely see a thing. Also at this point i had no balance left. gimp around saturday.

gimp around sunday

Monday call and MIRACLE get an appointment for around 1:30 pm. Lay back down til then. wake up and have no balance and fall unto the pile of stuff at my "art desk" (which i about give up on ever having) hurt myself. get on scooter. No depth precerption. cannot wear sun glasses and patch at same time. sun comes out hard. vision is gone. go over curb and flip the fucking scooter. call them while righting myself and tel them i am going to be late. thankfully they are ok with that. hu7rt my right arm which has been nigh useless most of the year from injuring it back in Febuary still hurts so fucking bad i can barely sleep right now. and typing one handed with shitty eyes is so much fun let me tell you. ANyway get there. 2 plus hours of eye stuff. get the meds i need. eye feels almost instantly better. but because of this week and some days of stupidity i have eye damage. i am currelty having to take my one eye drop 2 drops every hour. (normally 1 drop eveery 4 hours) and the other drop is that eye dilator because my iris is frozen in place. this is to hopefully loosen it up. he got it to barely move in the time i was there and did those drops three times while i was there.

my blood sugar dropped like Paula Deans approval rating while at the eye doctors. when i finally got to eat it made me so very ill.

but i have my meds and hopefully by thursday i will be able to see properly again and the damamge can be mostly fixed.. Also i am seriously considering filing a lawsuit against people for this shit. namely McHamfist.
 
 
 
Akira Shima
20 August 2013 @ 10:43 pm
 photo img357_zps292af42a.jpg
Yes it is AGAIN that time of year. Time for the WPAFW. FEEL THE POWER! SEE THE MAJESTY! HEAR THE SCREAMING OF THE INNOCENT! EAT ALL THE FOOD. WIN ALL THE PRIZES!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are now located at the WILDLY BEAUTIFUL (according to the pictures) North Park Lodge Ummm i mean this one... sorry. which i am assured is NOT on an First Nations burial ground nor has it been the sight of grisly murders or strange cult activity involving strange otherworldly beings. and that is not blood on the walls. it is rust. which is why the lodge is Rustic.

ALSO Our hotel is finally decided on! Econolodge! cause we are cheap fuckers but not so cheap as to put you guys up at the Bates motel.

go to WPAFW.ORG and go look at shit and register! i mean holy shit we have a Sarcophagus filled with mystery slots of mystery for fucks sake for in the ever popular Charity Raffle. Imagine you could be the lucky person to win a knock off dead Egyptian official for a buck. Imagine what they will say in the afterlife when they found out and now have to sit in the corner of your room witnessing GOD knows what (probably porn and video games but you never know.) and he has slots for you to fill! i mean when do you ever get to see that!!!!!!!!

So register and come in accordance with the prophesy!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11411562/
http://www.wpafw.org/
 
 
 
Akira Shima
20 August 2013 @ 01:12 pm
i found out that the muscle rub from dollar tree works on my arm. as i found my old tube of it recently. but there are pros and cons

Pros
it works for a while and wears off slow
It smells MINTY
at least my arm feels like it is being air conditioned

Cons
takes an HOUR to kick in.
pork grease absorbs in better
even when it does absorb in it can still make my eyes scream after 15 hand washings
even a thick blanket will not drive off the chill from it when i try to sleep
i had less than half a tube when i found it
it takes a LOT to do anything. I mean a lot. i looked like a whale came on my arm for a while.

Also possibly related there is a strange black spot floating in my room. it is round and very very black and hot but not. it feels cold near it too. I thought it was a thing in my eye cause the flashlight did not illuminate it but seemed to go right through it. though the beam of light was a bit off from normal from where it hit on the wall. it is tiny about the size of a bead. it hurts to look at directly.


also yes i saw i have a message in my inbox but i have not been doing much online anything with how bad my arm has been of late.

Also in other news my mobility scooter has a very bad flat i have to get fixed :P
 
 
Akira Shima
Whats hilarious about this is how many fuckers keep saying to me still that this will never happen. Well it is going on RIGHT NOW.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/08/06/1229194/-The-Town-Of-Gilberton-PA-Has-Been-Taken-Over-By-Miltia

"...Pennsylvania police chief Mark Kessler is the head of a political organization which refers to itself as “The Constitution Security Force.“ Kessler was recently given a thirty day suspension, for using police property as props in a video where he threatens and insults “libtards,” otherwise known as people who hold political views which differ from his own."

perhaps you remember this fucker. There were petitions signed to fire him for being a dickwad. see the power of petitions. See how far the Tea Party has gone over the edge. and you all think this is not going to go down badly if they lose again. They are desperate and a victim of their own fear and propaganda. they believe their own lies. they fear everything different than their own delusions.
 
 
Akira Shima
SO the other day I had the thought about My Little Sea Slug. I mean real sea slugs are already more colourful than a herd of My Little Ponies. so would their Pony analogs be in beige and clay and taupe?

My Little Sea Slug
My Little Sea Slug
They come in Taupe, Cream, and Beige
My Little Sea Slug
My Little Sea Slug
Shades of brown are all the rage
 
 
Akira Shima
25 July 2013 @ 02:26 pm
So when i showered today i mixed some of this bodywash/shampoo for MEN with some AXE that was left in there. I am now so manly that prolonged exposure to me will give chest hair to women and make kittens develop huge biceps. I am pretty sure if i poured a beer in a glass not only would it get a full foam head but the glass would grow a beard. As it is i was cutting up some lettuce for a salad and it became a steak...
 
 
Akira Shima
24 July 2013 @ 08:33 pm
So i hid for the heat wave. which killed most of the plants i planted on purpose. well at least did grievous bodily harm to them and only murdered a few. However the weeds (i define weeds as quick growing non edible non medicinal plants that strangle out other plants or overgrow them so quickly as to smother others.) grew like bamboo. In fact one of them i just tore out and now have to rest from doing was so huge i thought it was a Million weeds that took over my area that i have for wildflowers. the main stem was two inches thick. it laid across the ground and sent up branches that looked like full grown weeds. it was 8 feet from root to where it bent up at the last part. the parts standing were three to four feet tall. if it had been standing it would have been taller than my apple tree. may have been wider too. The kicker is i weeded right before the heat wave knowing they would go crazy. so this was a little over a week that it was growing.

and that is just ONE of the weeds i just ripped out. I have almost filled my Compost heap to the brim with them and am only 1/4 done so far.

I am so buying borax and some other things come the first. the time for murder has come.
 
 
 
Akira Shima
19 July 2013 @ 08:48 pm
well again from the bottom of my impacted colon i say weather... fuck you. My street front garden looks like it was hit with dragon breath. even with watering at night. I missed last night and the garden is over half dead. if anything recovers it will be a miracle. as much as i love having it there and using the unused space i keep thinking at some point i am going to have to just undo the whole damn thing and move it into the back yard or just give up. it has the perfect alignment for sun but it gets so damn hot and dry so quickly especially in this hellish satanic heat. I think i lost all me herbs AGAIN. this is the THIRD bakeoff since gardening weather hit. and people wonder why i want even a small green house type thing.
 
 
Akira Shima
19 July 2013 @ 08:47 pm
Lord my garden outfront looks like it has never seen water. i am so damn glad this heat wave is supposed to be ending. Also cleaning all week and doing the ferret cage seems to have borrowed all my spoons for today. I hurt everywhere all over. almost flu like. but we do have a big front coming through tonight too so that might be part of it. I hate running out of steam when i was going good. still going to try to do the kitchen tonight anyway. though i doubt i will get much done. just to sick to do much today.

I need a new word for this. Not sick. sick makes it sound like i keep catching things. which is totally not what is going on. in fact i still rarely get sick from any germs or viruses. most of this shit comes from broken back and my own Immune system beating the fuck out of me. and of course the fact that heat kills me and cold now hurts me...

heck other than checking the mail and watering the plants once i have not been out of the house all week. since the heat wave came in. I hope i recover soon from all this shit. i only wanted to have a clean house and garage and a yard that while not enjoyable this year would be ready for me next year.
 
 
Akira Shima
11 July 2013 @ 02:35 am
well that was an interesting day. Got a package from LadyApple27 with plants and candles and gum and apple slices and stuff. and then watched as the sky took on a delicious shade of apocalypse. It really was an awesome colour. then the tornado and rains so hard i could not see more than 7 feet out a window. (our house front is right on the sidewalk and i could not see the curb) and on the radio an alert was interrupted by an alert.

also just finally got around to unpacking a couple of things from getting back from Anthrocon. and dealing with Drama caused by my going to it because someone got it in their head i was not going and is now pissed that i went somewhere cause i am not going to pennsic without understanding

Anthrocon - Only a weekend, in a Hotel and Convention Center with AIR CONDITIONING. Have my New Mobility Cart.

Pennsic - 2 weeks plus a day, out in a unlevel campground, with NO air conditioning, (and it gets damn hot hereabouts in July -august) even with the mobility cart not everywhere is accessable since it does not like hills and Coopers Lake has a LOT of those.

yet to them it is the same thing and no differences at all.... and they act like i am not going to pennsic just to spite them. trust me if avoidance was even a reason let alone the only one i would still go cause it is a BIG place. as it is They are one of the reasons i hate i am not going. but drama...
 
 
Akira Shima
28 June 2013 @ 06:27 pm
for one huge reason. Everything i have as power outage backups keeps failing me miserably. All my hand crank devices have totally dead rechargable batteries in them so will not hold a charge. the shake flashlight broke a wire. The generator has no gas. the cord for charging my storm station is dead. I cannot find my box of batteries. Yeah getting really tired of this shit.
 
 
Akira Shima
16 June 2013 @ 06:57 pm
So yeah. I guess i should do this here and maybe on FA when it is back up. but here goes


As many of you know i am in charge of the WPAFW Charity Raffle. this year we are getting stuff together for the Hide E Hole Ferret Rescue. a No Kill Ferret Rescue. http://hide-e-hole.com/
As such i need STUFF, THINGS, BITS, TRINKETS, TCHACHKIES, OBJECTS, ODDS AND ENDS, HEIRLOOMS, ARTIFACTS, PIECES, EFFECTS, IMPEDIMENTA, EQUIPSTUFF, PARAPHERNALIA, TRINKETS, ROOM DANDER, PIECES OF EIGHT, TREASURES, JUNK, APPURTENANCES, PERSONAL POSSESSIONS, GOODS, CHATTEL, ANYTHING, EVERYTHING, TOYS, BOOKS OF FORBIDDEN LORE, CULTIST LEFTOVERS, DISCARDED OBJECTS OF ILL INTENT, UNFINISHED LAB EXPERIMENTS, UNFINISHED LAB ASSISTANTS, HOPES, DREAMS, MISGUIDED ATTEMPTS AT WEATHER CONTROL DEVICES, BOOKS OF NOT SO FORBIDDEN LORE, SPAM, BOOKS ABOUT BOOKS ABOUT BOOKS OF FORBIDDEN LORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know the normal stuff people have about their homes begging for new homes because deep down these objects know your secrets and silently scream to be released from your evil clutches.

after all without stuff raffles get pretty useless don't you think. and i know some of you live close and have THINGS OF INTEREST that you may be wishing to rid oneself of since you have the MAD DESIRE FOR MORE STUFF! so aid those other than yourself who also suffer from this malady.


And never think that something might not be wanted. Lord knows i have thought that in the past and was wrong.

Please we are no longer accepting : half eaten food, real garbage, spoiled children (they never survive the wait anyway), overused hookers, used sex toys, bodily fluids, Souls (again they never make it til then. i get so hungry at times), and intergalactic evil overlords. (i do not need the competition,)

so if you are localish and cleaning out your hovel and find something maybe someone else may desire for their own dive. please bring it unto me (i do not have a car or real transport so you are going to have to kinda send it to me) or if you are far away and do not mind shipping shit to me. SEND THINGS!

Also for those going to pennsic i may be able to arrange a dumping site there for you to discard your prom babies... i mean Things of interest for me to poop on... i mean acquire.
 
 
 
Akira Shima
15 June 2013 @ 08:59 pm
Other than a few really bright points this month has sucked balls. Mostly in the Oh fuck we are out of X now i must go to an inconveince store and pay the debt owed by many small third world countries for a packet of mayo. I am not even kidding here. a 8 ox jar of miracle whip was 7 dollars. 7 mother fucking dollars. the 12 pack of kraft singles was almost 11 dollars. and do not get me started on the only In Town grocery store. where for the price you pay the box of Cracker jacks better come with the Spear Of Loginus. and the lettuce better have been fed only the best organic virgin souls of Bodhisattvas
 
 
Akira Shima
03 June 2013 @ 10:15 pm
well i got in two hours of work in the yard before the darkness came. filled a bunch of pots and pulled a BILLION weeds though it does not look like i have. Honestly though Three days of insane baking temps and the yard looks like an image of what the world will look like fifty years after humanity dies!

On the good side one of my grape vines i planted years ago and died is now back. much like the trilliums... i guess someone cast resurrect on my yard after seeing it looking like a blasted heath after winter.

Also across the road there are Wild Dog roses Blooming! the petals do not have much scent but a LOT of flavour. i hope they do not do anything stupid to them. going to try to root a few cuttings as it is and if they survive the season i will gather the fuck out of those rose hips. cause damn even the little white parts on the petals had NO bitter to them. just deliciousness. should get some to dry too. that makes three things across the road i have to try to get to grow here. Wild Black Raspberries. Real blackberries. and now the wild rose. which is a different species than the one i will soon be planting from seeds. they are Almost done cold stratifying now.

Also mystery Gourd/pumpkin/squash appeared in my planting beds. it was super effective!

Also Also Karl Minehart gave me a Banana Tree which is doing great. I need to go up and water everyone in a few minutes as it is.

and my challenge this year is to try to build a Sun Shade Gazebo type thing from trash this year. I seem to have a LOT of odds and ends, Here is hoping it works for a few years if i get it to stand and not look like some redneck there i fixed it type picture. we will see which is more powerful. My gay or the power of redneck engineering. I am hoping for gay. Also another night impossible but i am stupidly going to try and probably injure myself in the process of is that i have the body of a yurt. I will never get to make a real yurt out of it. I just need to accept things. SO i am going to back my raised beds and my compost heap with it to grow beans and pumpkins and such on. the problem will be it is HUGE and i am weak and the compost heap and raised beds are against the fence and i want it between such things so as to have a LOT of stability.
 
 
Akira Shima
01 June 2013 @ 03:36 am
are they born with the genetic ability to know there is a camera even when they sleep. it is like a bunch of bigfoot photos for fucks sake. I got some video but am terrified to upload it to Hatetube. or anywhere else for that matter online since if anyone sees El Chupacabra i will get the never ending trolls of ANIMAL ABUSE for her having adrenal disease and being OLD as fuck. she looks like a slinky with bones and an old mans scrotum tugged over it all. i will never hear the end of it. Maybe i can get some if i just keep her in the big cage for a while while the other play. and i am pretty sure Video is all i am ever going to get unless i suddenly get a digital camera that does not have to wake up the little demon in it to take the picture every single time. I miss manual. they took a pic when you pressed the button. not tell you to wait five minutes while it determines the time of day and if it's astrological sign is compatible with your hand that day and then pays a small demon to painstakingly weave a fucking tapestry of the event as it can see it while making quick glances out the lens. honestly when i press the button there should be a Click and a Pic. not enough delay between them to make dinner...
 
 
Akira Shima
27 May 2013 @ 06:49 am
I gots new ferrets. Someone was Moving and could not take their ferrets and we got them. Ricky and Lucy. Still young and smallish. Lucy is a little bit of a wild girl and only bites if you rile her up big time. and Ricky is so laid back he makes Aku look hyper. pictures will come soon. for only the second time in my life i have had a ferret fall asleep on me after they got tuckered out. made me sad when i finally had to get up before my bladder detonated on the couch. They are so damn adorable! I got them thanks to my Friend Heather. it was someone at her workplace that was getting rid of them and want to make sure they got a good home. we turned one of their old cages into a ball pit. going to trick it out a bit more as a little play room. They are all in a ferret pile in the big cage right now! SO CUTE!
 
 
Akira Shima
23 May 2013 @ 03:16 pm
Again body thank you. the temps are cool. the clouds are everywhere for the most part. it is a perfect day to plant seeds anew and try again and weed things and play with soil and all that. A wonderful day indeed for YOU TO BLAST FROTHY ANAL MOCHA FROM MY ZESTY CHOCOLATE ROSEBUD! have i mentioned that some days i really hate you.
 
 
 
Akira Shima
22 May 2013 @ 04:54 pm
So yeah between Bitter cold that happened and the new heat wave everything i planted died. So i get to start reseeding everything tomorrow. hopefully. this crap sucks ass.

Pennisc Practice was nice though for the most part other than the heat and the fact that my neuropthy decided it wanted to enjoy the weekend too. i should do camping like that more simply because i am sure i lost 40 lbs from not eating cause of the heat. :P. though i did win a few nice things at the raffle there. a Nice sword and some Gourmet salts and a nice amber necklace and other things. I also got some awesome chamomile plants and some other plants and had fun scooping life out of the local pond there. got some odd water plant that i am not sure what it is but it is pretty. and found some nice anachris which i hope takes off in my ponds here.

the weekend even though it was relaxing took a WHOLE lot out of me. i slept most of sunday - monday after getting home. still have not finished unpacking. the heat over the weekend here while i was gone killed almost every single seedling i planted so yeah read above...

I still need to find someone local with a big vehicle to take to to find things i need like some damn free pallets and rocks and bricks and other things. but i grow to think it will never happen. like always. who would have thought that finding two fucking cinderblocks would be such a months long fruitless endevour. i mean really. and there are place nearbyish that give away pallets. but not having any vehicle makes doing anything a bitch.
 
 
Akira Shima
03 May 2013 @ 09:26 am
My idea for the tomato cages worked. it turns out that the Hanging Basket Planters from Dollar Tree fit PERFECTLY into the tomato Cages from Family Dollar. I state the stores because as i have seen ever different places get stuff from different manufacturers and therefore it is usually different sizes so say one hanging basket for this place would not fit perfect or even be made the same way as the ones i used. the ones i used have little clips for holding the chains to dangle from. take the chains off but not the clips. the clips are exactly the right length to clip directly to the top circle of the Tomato cages thereby putting them in perfectly to have extra room to grow things on the top (for me it will be herbs like basil and such) i will take pics in a bit. Also the whole damn set up is four bucks per. Two for the tomato cage. one for the metal basket and one for the coconut fiber liners, so now i have twice the growing space in the same five gallon bucket footprint! i think i may have to make more of these and put them in some of my other bigger pots. I could grow smaller wildflowers and other pollinator attractors in the baskets above other veggies and herbs
 
 
Akira Shima
29 April 2013 @ 04:46 am
i just do not even have words...

http://hamptonroads.com.nyud.net/2013/04/putting-lid-it

"Who has a need or right to own a 23-quart-capacity pressure cooker? And, of course, the individual making and exploding the bomb and enhancing its destructive force with a pressure cooker is not responsible for what happens with it; it's the fault of the evil manufacturers and of the stores that sell the pressure cookers."
 
 
Akira Shima
29 April 2013 @ 02:38 am
I have said it before and i will say it again. Fuck Fiction. I found the "leak".

are you ready for this. Some java moss grew up the intake for the filter on the 55 gallon tank. it then grew all over the filter. I knew it did this a long time ago and was totally fine with that since it improved the filter by adding another bit of bio filtering. the filter has been like that for years. well i have no idea if it was the sudden amount of warm we had or what but the java moss GREW! and i mean GREW. it reached the lighting fixture. and the protective plexiglass under the lights. and then GREW MORE and directed water form the filter across the lights (which have been lucky unpluged for a while since the bulbs went) and over the rest of the lid where it then dripped dripped dripped all over the floor and other shit. again i am happy i am paranoid since NOTHING electrical touches the floor over there even though it is a spaghetti nest of wires. I think that was the problem. i have used many towels and cleaned up all the water and dried the floor and set up something to capture water to see if it is still going or if i have gotten in. So fucking weird. just so weird. I am hoping that was the entire issue. Pray for me that it was.
 
 
Akira Shima
29 April 2013 @ 01:10 am
and now for something completely different. a slow mystery leak in my fucking koi tank.... thankfully i am a paranoid bitch and do things like buy piles of things like Shamwows and stuff for fixing leaky pipes without having to shut off the water. personally i suspect the frikken filter cause it is a whore and i cannot afford a new one yet.

EDIT. Nope. it is my 55 gallon thats seems to have a slow leak... the hardest to get to tank. the one that has given me no trouble for years and years... I will have to move ALL MANNER OF STUFF. half of which i am not strong enough to move! YAY me. this will only be an all day and then some treat. especially since it was my plant propagation tank and has guppies and little little fucks in it that are speedy as hell. Wish me luck. Probably not much sleep fro me tonight. unless i can get it somewhat secure then i am going to take a nap and fix it in the morning.